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Choosing Between Grandparents and a Babysitter

Grandparents or a BabysitterIdeally, newborn babies should stay as long as possible with his parents, especially his mother. Only when he’s three years old, the child is psychologically prepared from spending several hours away from his family.

But we should all agree that nowadays, there are unfortunate cases, when the mother can’t deal with the baby for too long (maybe only a few months, sometimes even a few days) and that’s when families resort to nannies — a woman paid to take care of the child — or to grandparents.

Both have advantages and disadvantages.
Why did I choose the nanny, to the detriment of grandparents – assuming that parents can afford (from a financial point of view):

– a nanny usually follow the instructions and requirements of the parents; there are only a few cases in which the nanny tries to impose its own views about raising and educating children;
– she can have a professional qualification or studies on the rearing of children;
– she’s likely to have a larger experience (sometimes more current) in terms of care and child rearing;
– she tends to spoil the child less than a grandparent would;

On top of that, if parents are not satisfied with the work or if there is any sort of incompatibility the contract can be terminated in a jiffy.

But why would you choose the grandparents over a babysitter?

– it’s all about the confidence that the grandparents give to you (parents know how their child should be cared for and educated) so that you’re certain your child is in good hands;
– you’re making sure that the baby will be surrounded by love and affection;
– privacy; sometime it’s hard to find someone to trust;

Also, both options have disadvantages. If a “nanny” is always a risk by introducing a stranger to your family and entrusting your most precious “possession” – the child, constantly resorting to your grandparents will generate mixing family roles, and in many cases that leads to the infantilisation of the parents.

Those who choose a nanny assume she’s honest and loves their children. There are, however, cases when the lack of specialist advice and psychological testing prior to a nanny, parents make the wrong choice. The baby sitter may be a person mentally disturbed, aggressive, that has nothing to do around a child (despite the experience she has, or claims that she has).

On top of that, if especially grandmothers tend to usurp and take over the role of mother, some nannies can be emotionally uninvolved or uninterested in the evolution of the child.

When the grandmother assumes the role of mother, the baby’s mind (he hasn’t been explained) will have to deal with confusion regarding parental roles. The confusion will persist for a long time, unconscious.

And there’s always talk that grandparents spoil their grandchildren – perhaps to compensate somet gaps in the relationship with their children when they were small. Of course, pampering is not ruled out for nannies, but it can be limited with greater ease by parents.

Usually, the person who spends the most time with the child becomes like a second mother, reaching sometimes even to occupy first place in his soul. If the mother is forced to leave their baby in the care of someone, you should consider an adjustment period of 1-2 months, that care be taken in parallel and successor mother.

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